How is it that even if you’ve fought your battles and somehow over come everything meant to break you, somehow you second guess everything. I wish for once I could be happy. I mean you would think when your life does a complete 360, you have a great job, a wonderful boyfriend and a great support system that you’d have everything you’d need. My anxiety literally eats me alive, I’m up thinking crazy things, even this second. Everything comes rushing back, no matter how long ago something happened that’s all I focus on. Every bad hing that iv gone through is suddenly flooding my mind. I start to shake and my stomach tightens, I can’t even talk. Just sit in silence and cry. How do you even try to tell someone what’s going on in your head or ‘what’s wrong?’ That’s the biggest problem, where do you begin. Or ‘you shouldn’t worry about that stuff it doesn’t happen anymore, you have so much going for you now.” That’s not that point, it effects everything.
The only thing I’m fighting for is my own sanity.